This Week Is No Fun

Ok, so we have a new kid and she's pretty cool. I'll give this week credit for that much! But beyond that, I am finding pretty much nothing redeeming about it.

So first just the toddler had the juicy horrible cough, pale face, irrational crying, and fever. Then Daddy got pretty much the whole thing but he doesn't think he ever got the fever. At that point, baby and I moved to the bedroom. The thought of coughing or sneezing while purely moving from a laying down position was enough to make my eyes water was just too unbearable. Those 3 nights of being alone were so hard. I couldn't move easily at all, so she had to be pretty much attached to me. That isn't safe and worried me, so there wasn't much sleep on my part. Whenever I put her down she would scream, so that wasn't working well either. Even though the pack and play was right next to the bed I couldn't move from laying down to putting her in there smoothly so she always woke up. There was one glorious hour that she stayed asleep in there. Then she spit up all over herself and that was the end of that.

Meanwhile, the older kid missed a day of daycare with the fever and went to the doctors to check to see if by any chance there was a possibility of something that we could fix with medicine. Alas, it was just a virus. (One that won't end - he's healthy enough for school now, but still has a juicy cough and isn't learning as quickly as I would like about covering his mouth.) So that meant Daddy was on toddler duty 24/7 pretty much on top of feeling sick and miserable himself.

But then, I got the cough. Just barely, but enough to be painful. At least I didn't get it until a few days later, so I had healed a little more. And then, I got the fever. I had to go to the OB to get checked out since there are few unfortunate things that could cause a fever at this point. While they (I had a whole team - OB that I like, midwife that delivered Carrie, and the head nurse) decided that I had a virus rather than anything else, it involved examining all the repairs for problems or infection so that is back to last week's level of pain. Add the coughing and sneezing and I'm pretty sure I'm worse off than I was a few days ago. Not to mention the little bit of muscle/tissue tone that I had recovered in the recovery area is now gone again. That's super frustrating. My round the clock super doses of advil that they prescribed aren't helping anymore, but the super pain killers make me and the baby really drowsy so I'm trying to dole them out slowly to myself.

I miss my other kid, I miss being able to sit up. I see notes from other girls who had kids right around when I had Carrie and they're already out and about in the world and I can't even get to the bathroom by myself all the time. I'm also disheartened at the fact that the toddler has been coughing for 9 or 10 days already and I'm in this much pain from 24 hours of it. It's hard to see the light at the end of the pain tunnel!! Thank goodness my husband was able to take off more than 2 weeks of work. I don't know what I'd do if I was losing him in less than a week!

Attempting to find something positive:
Last night was the first night I could just sleep, and someone could bring me the baby when she was hungry. That was nice, except for the fact that I had to keep getting up and disinfecting myself and switching areas of the bed. Even though she's obviously been exposed to me, I didn't want her laying on skin and clothes I had just hacked and sneezed all over. But still better than being on my own all night!

Also, my OB is a really cool guy. We started talking about a few random things, and making sure people help me and all that jazz. I mentioned that lots of people want to help, but there are very few things I really need right now. I told him what I could really use is a magical medicine for viruses, someone to magically feed the baby for me, a new body from the belly button down, and 36 hours of straight sleep. I told him that when I ask people for new body parts or something else irrational, they laugh good naturedly, but then they give me chocolate covered strawberries as a peace offering. He said "BE RIGHT BACK!" and left the room. At that point the nurse started laughing and said careful what you wish for. Wouldn't you know, in 30 seconds he was back with a chocolate covered strawberry. Someone had happened to bring them in to work to celebrate the March birthdays. So that made me smile.

Always at night ....

Day 8 of Amoxicillin. Baby is fussy as all get out and when we gave him a bath we realized he had a rash from head to toe. I'm allergic to it, so I decided to call the doctor even though it was 7:30. Asked whether it was something to be concerned about, whether I needed to give him benadryl or something like that, or just something to ignore. It's 2013. There's all kinds of technology out there, and yet I'm still trying to describe what the rash looks and feels like. Shouldn't there be a way to picture text your doctor???

Small Bits of Normalcy

I enjoyed 2, count them, TWO fun things this weekend without spotting at all. Yay! We went to a caroling party the first night. We had so much fun being silly with all the people a couple years ago and I was anxious to go again. I only got to do one street so I missed half the singing, but by stopping at a point before my breaking point and going back to sit down and socialize, I managed the situation. Then on Sunday we were able to go to our friendly Christmas party at Max's in Fells Point. We went early and watched the (abysimal) Ravens game for a couple hours and then headed upstairs to the party. We turned a windchime and paper towel holder into a punch bowl and some books at the White Elephant gift exchange. It's always a good time.

Then today I had a doctor's appointment that didn't ruin my day (http://jlsh935.blogspot.com/2012/12/passed-ton-of-tests.html) so I liked that too. Now I just have to get through 4 days of work somehow!

Year 3 - Day 170 - June 18

I had a follow up appointment today. Since I had to put a gown on and walk to more than one room, they gave me these super attractive slipper socks. AND, they let me keep them. Classy! Heh. ;)

Year 3 - Day 166 - June 14

Sorry, squeamish people. He was supposed to take a picture of the cool view outside of my pre-op room, but somehow this showed up instead. Gross. But you should know that I didn't even wince when I got it placed. Go me! Every time I need an IV, I ask (in all seriousness) if the procedure is going to hurt more than the IV. Because I HATE IV's. I think part of the problem is that whenever I need one, it means I'm going to sleep, which means I haven't had anything to drink since before midnight. So yesterday, I super super hydrated. I figured if I started off super full of liquid, maybe I wouldn't get all the way to parched by 9am. Maybe it worked, because this one was a breeze. I still don't like them though. Seems so silly to take an hour to ask me a million questions, put in the IV, and then sit there waiting to be asleep for 15 minutes. Since this was a minor thing, I actually walked into the OR instead of getting wheeled. First, I saw doctors scrubbing in. I asked if they were really going to come in with their hands up like they do on TV and they promised me they would. (I fell asleep before getting to see it!) Then when I got in there, the table was set up with the arms out to the side - execution table in the movies style. I made a comment about that and they all laughed, but I wasn't kidding! So after the hour plus in pre-op and 15 minute nap, I got to spend an hour in post-op with ginger ale and graham crackers. Want to know a secret? In case you ever have to be knocked out? They let you leave as soon as you ask to pee. They even crank up your IV when you're done to super flush you to make you ask for the bathroom. But if you ask sooner, they get you up and ready to go. I just forgot this time until I had been sitting there for awhile. Last time, the nurse reminded me of that just before they put me under. That should be the last thing they say to you every time! But still, just conk me on the head with a frying pan, cartoon character style. Let the birdies fly around my head, do your thing, and wake me up. :)

Year 3 - Day 159 - June 7

My doctor's office is done in a very swanky decorative style. Hardwood floors, frosted glass doors, and, as seen here, brushed metal fancy style faucets. At least the counter tops aren't granite, then I'd really start to wonder where my money is going. :) The randomly cool thing they have though, is moisturizing hand sanitizer. It goes on like a cream instead of the liquid alcohol style. I'm sure when you use it a thousand times a day it is much nicer on your skin, but even as a casual visitor and user I appreciate the difference.

Year 3 - Day 103 - April 12

It's almost here! Sonic is opening this weekend! I wonder if they're open at 6:45 when I drive by for bloodwork in the morning.

Hmm... drive through bloodwork. That'd be a neat invention. My arm is right next to the window! It'd certainly save me time from walking upstairs. :) Don't they do drive through flu vaccinations? Bloodwork is basically the opposite, taking things out instead of putting things in!

I'm going to make millions on this idea, especially if they combine WITH a Sonic and hand you a cherry limeaid on the way out. Genius!

Year 2 - Day 342 - November 29

Here I am, again, getting bloodwork done before breakfast! Unfortunately, since they have me going to an outside lab, I can't get the results for 48 hours. Boo! Sitting here, I'm noticing this sign and all the typos.

On each line of the bill of rights, it says "Our patient's" ... but it is using it in a place where they REALLY mean "Our patients." I have issues with professional documents using parenthesis when they are not necessary. It is a very common issue and drives me NUTS.

Year 2 - Day 341 - November 28

What's more fun to do on a Monday morning than medical tests?!? I love that my doctor calls on the same day with the results as long as I get them done early in the morning. I'm on the fence about today's results. Two things came out wonky. On one hand, the bad numbers could explain everything that is going on these days. On the other hand, they could signify something I don't want to have in my head. But then back on the first hand, if a pill could solve the problem, sign me up! Days like today are the good and bad reasons that I've been to Pituitary Education day so many times. Good because I know pills can solve a lot of problems but bad because I'm done having things wrong with me!! I think if I was going to be a doctor, being an endocrinologist would be fascinating. It's really the actual biology that's going on inside of you and I think it's all so interesting. (As long as it's someone else's body.) ;)

Year 2 - Day 335 - November 22

A few weeks ago, I had a foul proof plan to make my life schedule work today.

I needed to make a doctor's appointment to check in with a doc I hadn't seen in awhile. Luckily, they were able to make me a super early in the morning (8am) appointment. This worked out PERFECTLY because the Turkey Trot was scheduled at school! That meant that I could get to work ASAP but wouldn't need to get a sub because the kids would be running around outside with the other specialists. Perfect! It's hard to just adjust your work day as a teacher since the subs can only be scheduled half or full day.

But then - it rained. That meant I would have my regular classes and so even though I'd be at work shortly after the kids, that doesn't exactly work! Since I had to schedule a sub, I didn't have to be at work til noon. That gave me time to grocery shop with the grandmas of town in the morning rather than fighting the crowds tomorrow!

So anyhoo, when I saw these giant bags of popcorn, I couldn't help but think about that logic problem that asks what's heaver, a pound of feathers or a pound of lead. I guess because these bags were HUGE (more than a foot across) and were just 2 pounds. I wanted to buy one, because it looked like fun, but really what does someone need with 2 pounds of popcorn. :)

My other exciting discovery at the store today was that they added an option to the spend money and get a free turkey deal. Rather than just turkey or ham, we could choose a giant fresh pork shoulder! Yum. If only we had time to cook it this week!

After dealing with some tough stuff this evening along with our HP3 viewing, my vacation can finally begin! I'm even staying up to watch Parenthood because I don't have to get up in the morning! WOOHOO!!!!!!

Year 2 - Day 257 - September 15

Let's talk about sleep.

How I haven't had any since 5:45 yesterday morning, other than a 5 minute nap sitting straight up earlier this morning.

I spent the night in the ER with my hubby ... we now know that he's fine, but it was a long long long 14 hours. Are you aware of the terrible TV that is on in the middle of the night? We are very glad that he is fine, because not everyone around us got that news.

It made me smile though, when I came out this morning and saw this car parked next to ours. :)

Year 2 - Day 234 - August 23

Today is a day that I will remember for a very long time! As everyone knows, we had an earthquake. It was crazy. I'm really glad that nobody was seriously hurt and there wasn't any very serious damage because I thought it was amazing to experience it (honestly didn't think I'd ever find myself in an earthquake) and if it had been more awful, I'd feel guilty about it. It took me about half of the 10-15 seconds to figure out it was an earthquake. In my classroom, we often hear people walking on the roof. That's what I thought it was first, at the rumbling stage. Then when the banging started, I thought it was a whole CREW on the roof. Finally, we started rolling side to side. The computers were rocking, the projector was shaking, and the tree outside my window was going nuts. That's the moment I figured out it was an earthquake. I'll admit, when the principal said "We have no confirmation it was an earthquake" on the intercom, I thought for a moment that it could have been a bomb or something terrorism related. But I jumped on usgs.gov and confirmed the earthquake theory. Wowza, indeed. I was amused at the pictures on facebook showing the "horrible damage" from the quake. Here's some snapshots of the devastation in our home. First, at the top, you see the picture frames that slid off their holders. How sad.

Right next to them, Mr. Blue M&M wound up on the floor. (He's usually up on the desk.)

In my mind, it's like Toy Story and he rode his motorcycle down the ramp of the roll top desk. ;)

Upstairs was a little more sad.

The hutch on the dresser in the guest room isn't attached, it just sits on top of the dresser. There was a wooden sign (hard to see on top shelf because it's on its side now) that fell over and made things fall off the shelf.

R2D2 seems ok, but poor Darth. He is all broken to pieces. :( I was amused to see that Darth's head was holding Mike's boutonniere from our wedding, too.

Ok, enough about the earthquake. The picture of the day SHOULD be my huge smiling face! My original appointment for my mole biopsy results was for Wednesday, tomorrow, after school. My anxiety has been seriously high all 2 weeks. I have not been sleeping well, I've been hormonal and emotional and not handling anything very well. It is just stressful. I go through a lot of medical stuff and I get frustrated when I don't get answers, but I have never been as terrified as I have been for the last 13 days. It was getting in the way of living my life. So this morning, (pre-earthquake) I called the office & asked if I could get in today at the end of the day. They said yes. Whew! Even better, we got to go home early because of the quake, so I was at the office early and they took me early. The guy I saw said the most beautiful words - "It's not skin cancer." Whew. I lost 20 pounds right there. I got a little teary, too. But then I had a rational conversation with him. He was great. I liked him more than the girl who did the biopsy. However, she did a good job with it. The mole was a little irregular, but the lab showed the margins were clear. (That was written in bold, underline print with 2 ** right next to it. That's what you want it to say!) He was very calming and made me rational again. I wanted to go out and skip! Now I can sleep! PLUS, they already canceled school for tomorrow so that they can inspect the buildings, so I can *really* sleep! :)

Year 2 - Day 89 - March 31

Everytime I think I'm starting to get (mentally) better, something happens that kicks me in the stomach and knocks me back down.  With my insurance, every couple weeks they send an "Explaination of Benefits" that just breaks down the appointments, labs, etc.  I guess with other people they come less frequently, but it seems like that's how often I get mine. :)  Then I also get the little bills for the mini copays that go with tests. 

I had already received my EOB for the month of maternity visits and the first ultrasound.  But today, I got the EOB for all of the sad appointments.  Between two u/s and the surgery, my insurance paid out a big chunk of change that week.

The other paper was a bill from the hospital.  I figured it'd be the copay something that weekend, but no, it's for the copay for my very first appointment.  That means that months from now, I'll still be getting paperwork having to do with this.  I am so tired of being reminded of it every day.  It makes it a lot harder to move on mentally!

Year 2 - Day 10 - January 10

I had a test today (There's nothing wrong with me!) at a radiology place I had never been to before.  This was hanging all over the place - their "mission statement," I suppose.  The title changed depending on where I was (The check in place said "Admissions Guiding Principle," for example.)

I can honestly say that every single person I encountered embodied these principles.  The person who checked me in, the person who walked me to the room, the people who did the test - even random people walking in the hallways.  Everyone was friendly, personable, and reassuring.  I had a lot of time to think about this sign (Notice - "You will be seen promptly" is not a principle of courtesy!) this afternoon.  Would I pick courtesy over good medical care? No. However, I can assume that all the doctors and hospitals nearby are picking qualified doctors and nurses, so all qualifications and medical skills being equal, I'd prefer the courtesy.

SUCH a difference from the people I encountered in December!  The person running the trainings and the people in charge of making sure it continues to happen are all doing a good job.

Do I show all these traits daily?  Probably not.  If this sign was hanging everywhere I turned would I think more about it? Maybe.  If this sign was hanging everywhere I turned *and* I was working with adults who could read the sign would I think about it? Most likely. What about you?

Day 357 - December 23

Dunno what all those numbers mean, but they're mine! :)

The test itself was less annoying than the prep.  I was asleep thanks to a lovely dose of (properly administered) Propfol.  (My doctors > M.J.'s doctors) ;)  Mike confiscated my phone so that I couldn't "Drunk Dial" my mom & Sarah like after my bladder procedure earlier in the year.  He didn't have to worry though - that stuff wore off much quicker and didn't make me sick.  Woohoo!  Good news is that there's nothing wrong with me!!  Bad news is that we still don't know what is causing the pain.  But hey, I ruled out a bunch of stuff that I didn't want to have, so that is good. :)

I liked the Doc, the anesteologist, and one of the nurses.  Everyone else there was very much in the mentality of assembly line.  2 different people - a receptionist & the nurse who did my IV had conversations with me without making eye contact.  The receptionist was talking to the other receptionists about who was bringing cookies & coffee.  Both times she needed me to sign something she swiveled around in her chair, said something quick and curt, "This is the HIPA paper. Sign here." (Point) and then go back to talking to the other girls.  I jokingly told Mike that I hoped I had the right procedure done because I honestly don't think she looked at me once.  She didn't ask for ID or my insurance card and instead used a photocopy from my office visit (at a different location) a month ago.  Granted, who is going to show up and request this test for fun?  But still.

Then the IV nurse was chit chatting with the laundry delivery guys and with her face toward THEM pointed at my medication sheet and said "this is where he'll write what he'll want you to take, this is where he'll write what meds he wants you to stop." 

Thankfully, then another nurse showed up.  I did hear nurse nasty dealing with other patients the same way...just not cool.  I am well versed in the medical care available in this town and today's office failed my test.

Luckily I don't have to go back for 19 years. ;)

Day 356 - December 22

On the first day of Christmas, my vacation brought to me ....

a gallon of some horrid tasting stuff called Golytely.  In the quest to find out the cause of my abdominal pain that has been coming and going for the last 13 months, I gave in and went to a GI doc.  I've been making the rounds of all the docs that treat body parts in the abdomen, but left the GI guy til last.  As I suspected, he spent 30 seconds with me before prescribing "the test." 

I was a little annoyed because he didn't even touch me at my initial appointment.  We sat in chairs, he read my paperwork, and said he wanted to do the test.  If there is anything I've learned in the past year, it's that most doctors are quick to jump to testing.  Are they scared of getting sued if they don't find something?  I just feel like he could have at least tapped on my stomach or something before sending me down this path.  My urologist was quick to put me through some lousy invasive tests too.

Getting the stuff down was hard.  The original prescription was a smaller amt of liquid, but I realized last night that it had nutrasweet/aspartame as a sweetening ingredient.  The dr on the overnight number didn't know which prep to tell me to take, and told me to do some research and figure it out and talk to the pharmacist in the morning.  Luckily, my awesome pharmacist recently made that serendipitious re-entry into my life, and he figured out a backup plan!  The result was a whole lot of liquid.  You have to drink this stuff that pretty much tastes like ocean water...8 ounces every 10 minutes for almost 3 hours.  Wow.  Even if you LIKE the taste of something, that's a lot of liquid!

Day 293 - October 20

Somewhere between breakfast and lunch today, I started feeling gross.  I was worried because of our weekend plans ... I didn't want to get sick on vacation like happened when we went to New Orleans!

If I hadn't been going away on Friday, I would probably have waited an extra day before seeking out a doctor, but I wanted to nip it in the bud. 

The doctor ticked me off to no end - she turned her ears off as soon as she heard the word fibromyalgia.  I hate when doctors do that!  She decided I have a sinus infection, which was actually a good answer because I was worried that it might be strep due to the horrible instant onset sore throat and the fact that tons of kids at school have it. :) 

So now I have meds to get rid of infection and help me to fly pain free. Woohoo!

Day 97 - April 7

May I present a few things that I may or may not have enjoyed after my doctor's appt today.

After my surgical procedure a month ago, the urologist said I had "classic IC."  He was basing that on the way my bladder reacted to the test.  (They fill it with something to high volumes & see if it causes blisters & hemorrhaging (sp?) - simplistic terms.)  He also did a biopsy, but that was to rule out worse diseases.  Then he said "here's the meds, take them for life." 

Fast forward to today - my appt at Hopkins with the director of Women's Pelvic Health.  (Fancy title, totally not fancy guy.  He was awesome and very down to earth and spent a lot of time with us.)  He said that he could make those reactions happen to anyone while they were under (it does cause considerable pain if you do the test awake.)  He also said people like teachers & truck drivers drink less in general due to their jobs and train their bladders to be smaller and to hold smaller volumes.  So that explained that part of the test result.  He also said that he truly doesn't believe someone has IC if they don't have the go-all-the-time problem.  (Which I don't.)  He said if you're not getting up several times a night then the medicines won't help. 

So - he believes it's basically just my fibro manifesting in a different way and that being off my meds for this long made it pop up.  He also believes in the mental connection - doctor said there was something wrong with my bladder and that I should drink lots of water.  Which I did.  Which then makes me have to go more. :)  Plus, once someone tells you there is something wrong with a part of your body, you think about that part of the body more. 

He said that the 2 meds the other guy wanted to put me on do nothing to help with pain, they just help with frequency issues, which, (all together now) I don't have.  Also he told us that normal people heal (get all the way to 0 pain) from bladder surgery in 3-4 weeks and that with my fibro it'll probably take me longer just like every other injury I get.  AND...diet and meds are no big deal, I can take whatever I want and eat whatever I want as long as it doesn't get worse like it did with the margarita that one time.  He suggested avoiding alcohol & caffeine but other than that eat normal and healthy.

So what did I do?  Drank a gatorade and ate a bunch (a BUNCH) of tagalongs.  Didn't get to the sour patch kids because it was dinner time. :)  Not healthy, but normal. :)

Day 84 - March 25

Another lovely picture of art in a doctor's office!  Met with the surgeon who did my thing at the beginning of March.  He advised me to go on meds & not have kids until he knows if the meds are helping me or not.  These two particular meds take 6+ months to build up the proteins or something.  He really made me angry, because he was only thinking about one body system.  He doesn't care how it will affect my problems that my other doctors treat.  Why can't I just get all my doctors who treat various parts of my body (and perhaps a shrink to take care of me while they all yell) to sit around a table and help me make the best decisions?  It seems like every medicine that one of them wants me to take is something another one is telling me NOT to take.  (Heck, even one of the meds the urologist prescribes is on the "don't ingest this ingredient" list that he himself gave me!)  I left there very angry today, because I felt like he didn't listen to a word I said, and didn't answer any of the questions I waited 3 weeks to ask.  And because I got flustered, I didn't really realize that until he was gone. 

So for now, this is the last time I will be seeing this particular doctor.  I have an appointment with a different urologist at Hopkins in a couple weeks, and they claim that they work as a team of specialists to figure out the best solution.  Let's hope they are world famous for a reason. :) Oh, and I think I'm bringing a written paper with my questions and concerns and perhaps even my husband, so that I don't leave feeling so mad!

The good news is, I *am* having a little reduction in symptoms this week.  AND it is not snow weather.  AND we're buying a house in 4 days.  AND it's almost a really long weekend.  All of these are good things!

Day 63 - March 4

When I was waking up after my thing today, Mike tells me that I was asking lots of medical questions like my BP, o2 stats, etc., and getting mad when he didn't know. As you see, I had this nifty box over my head, so it should have been easy! Too bad I don't remember any of it. :) I should have told him to take a picture when I was actually hooked up so that the box didn't make me look dead. :)