Open Apology

I would like to officially and formally apologize for any of the following things that have ever escaped my lips to a pregnant person:

-"How are you feeling?"
-"When are you due?"
-"Do you know what you are having?"
-"What names did you pick?"
-"Aw, look at your belly!"

Etc.

For the past 9 weeks at work and month or so in the real world, I have had more conversations with more people with LESS substance than ever before in my life. I should seriously just get a tee shirt with these answers printed on them.

I do ask people if they have selected names, but I don't expect them to actually share them so I just ask if they have picked them. Mostly I'm curious about that because we have no idea on earth what names we like and I'm curious if others have gotten this far feeling that way.

I don't understand why growing a human gives the universe free reign to chime in on my slow walking, weight, boob size, butt size, stomach size, foot size, rosy cheeks, etc. I can't leave my classroom without someone making a comment about at least one (but usually 2+) of those things. It honestly doesn't bother me when a kid says something, but with grownups it drives me nuts. And 3 different people that I work with and know but are not necessarily close with touched my stomach without asking this week.

This week marked the first time that kids have said anything to my face. I've known for awhile that they'd been asking their teachers, but nobody said a word to me. It's obvious that they'd figured it out, especially the big kids, by the looks on their face and the fact that they've been staring at my stomach, but nobody said a thing! Finally on Tuesday a 3rd grade girl said "Hey, you kinda look like you're having a baby." Then on Wednesday, I caught 2 kids having a conversation about it AROUND me. It appeared that someone behind me was trying to get the girl in front of me to ask, because she bent around me and said "YES! I heard it from someone ELSE!" So I jokingly asked, "Are you guys talking about my big stomach?" The girl turned red but a boy piped up "Mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyybe...." so I told them. An hour later that day a kindergarten kid I don't even know said "Hey! You're having a baby too!" (Their teacher is on maternity leave.) Then on Friday several younger kids asked and an older one asked if I knew if it was a boy or a girl. It kind of cracked me up that it took so long for them to get the guts to ask!