For the week leading up to her appearance, I was routinely having 2 or 3 painless contractions about 10 minutes apart and then they would stop. This often happened in the middle of the night during my daily insomnia time in the 2-3am hour. Since Derek's contractions got bad at 3:30am I would pay attention to an extent, but they never got closer than 10 minutes apart.
The night she came, I was up at 2 and felt one, so I started reading on my tablet just so I could time the next one. I had a couple 15 minutes apart, a couple 10 minutes apart and then two at 5 minutes apart. I got excited then, but then they stopped. I was still feeling not quite right, but there weren't active contractions. I woke up Mike and said it might be time to call the doctor just to get advice because I wasn't feeling right, but that I wasn't sure. This was just before 3am. While I was listening to the message on the doctor's line about the pager number for the midwife on call, my water broke. More like exploded. Luckily I had been sleeping on a hospital pad for a week or so, so Mike just had to throw it at me and we managed to save the carpet. :) I called the midwife right at 3am and told her and she gave us the go-ahead to come on in.
Meanwhile, Mike threw the bags in the car and grabbed the few things on the list that weren't prepacked like the tablet, chargers, and camera. I knew the contractions could potentially get worse and quicker after the water breaking so I was ready to hit the road and got a little testy when he took time to brush his teeth and put in contacts. ;) Luckily we had some hospital pads and materials in a bag from my friend, so we wrapped me up in that stuff and grabbed another big one for the car and got out of here at 3:15.
I had several more painful contractions in the car that were lasting longer and longer. They were similar to the ones I had in the car last time, so I started thinking about the realistic concern of missing my epidural window. Last time I got to the hospital at 7.5cm and by the time they spent the 90+ minutes giving me fluids and waiting for the epidural guy, they put it in and I was at 9. They told me that was one of the reasons for being such an ineffective pusher which led to him getting stuck which led to the drop in heart rate which led to the vacuum which led to the tear. I spent a lot of time during this pregnancy wondering if I'd have the guts to turn down the epidural if I was faced with the same window to help me push better and avoid everything else.
When we got to the hospital, the girl checking me in was NOT in a hurry at all. I spent a lot more time waiting for her than I did last time. However it was still probably less than 10 minutes, maybe even as little as 5 since we left at 3:15 and it was only 3:30 at this point. They started getting really strong at that point, enough that just breathing through them wasn't working. Finally they took me to triage. I flopped on to the bed right at 3:30.
Then all heck broke loose. The worst contractions are from 7-10cm. That was the stuff I had for between 90min and 2 hours last time while waiting for the epidural. There aren't even words for those. I couldn't make words, just noises. I curled up in a ball on my side like I did last time because that helped last time. But she wouldn't let me stay there because she had to check and see where I was. I remember saying I was going to die - but that's probably a common complaint because she was just like Nope honey you're not but you do have to roll over! I was less than compliant. :) I also realized in my head at that point that I was probably out of time in the pain drugs department. Then she announced with a surprised voice "She's fully dilated, we have to get her to a room now!" My only response was "THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DRUGS!" She said "Well, there are not going to be any of those. But there is going to be a baby - soon!"
Thankfully they wheeled me - last time I had to walk to my room. They ran - just like a TV show! The super painful animal contractions stopped and I could totally tell she was on her way. Again, just like TV I said something like I can't not push! She's coming right now! And then they wanted me to move to the other bed. Again, not very compliant. I was like nope how about right here. I have 3 marks on both an arm and leg that appear to be slight bruises from being moved - I imagine that's when I got those.
The next contraction they told me to push. I was still crying about how there were supposed to be drugs. Between the midwife, the two nurses, and Mike, someone finally convinced me that I was going to have to do this but that the pain would be over super quickly since she was so close. The next contraction her head was almost out, then I whined through one about the pain, and the next two pushes she was out - at 3:49.
So last time, the contractions went from annoying to painful to animalistic in 2.5 hours. This time it was about 5-10 minutes.
Having a baby without pain meds is so different. Seriously - the second after she was out I felt crazy good. Not only was I like dude I had a baby with no drugs! I was also feeling this super high of being not pregnant. The end of pregnancy is so horrible and uncomfortable, but the second she was out my heartburn stopped and I just felt - not pregnant. I don't know how else to describe it. My brain was also thinking no epidural, so no tear! I asked if I tore and apparently that's not something that is apparent very quickly.
Then all of a sudden all their faces got very serious and the midwife looked at me and said, we're going to need to wake up the doctor to fix this. Sigh. That's when I really lost it. That mentally hurt more than any of the physical pain, because I still remember last time. It took 2 hours for them to figure out the best plan of attack and then for the doctor to do it. I had a little novicane here and there while they worked, but without the epidural I had to endure a lot of the awfulness of the stitching, too. Again, worse than the birth because it just wouldn't end.
It's been almost a week now, and I'm still in pain. On top of that, the toddler and husband are both sick with a terrible cold. I can't even imagine having an illness that would make me sneeze or cough. Swallowing and sitting both hurt. I had to take her to her pediatrician appointment on Wednesday and sitting in the car and in the office made it even worse. So basically baby and I have been living in the bedroom. Occasionally in the height of his medicine effectiveness hubby showers, changes his clothes, and wears a mask to take her for a little while, and my mom's cold is very minor so she wears a mask to bring us food and spends some time sitting in the room. I did come down for the toddler's speech appointment on Thursday and wore a mask for my own protection from the boys. I miss them! That's the hardest part. I just don't want to get sick. I have a minor cold, my ears and nose are plugged, but I have only coughed 2 times. That was 2 times too many, but if I can just make it another week without getting the illness I'll be that much more healed and will be able to survive.
Luckily she is very mellow - how could she not be? She's been held for most of her life! :) She does like the rainforest mat with its music and lights and she liked the swing at one point too. She hasn't grown to love the buzzy chair yet, but I'm hoping that's next. She doesn't hate it, it just doesn't lull her to sleep like I want it to!
That's all the news from this corner of our world. :)
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